Grab a cup of coffee, get comfortable and read along to learn the real nitty gritty of how and why I started blogging.
Whew! What a journey it’s been!
Here’s my story of overcoming adversity…. I sincerely hope you will find it encouraging if you are facing adversity yourself.
Welcome to Setting for Four everyone!!
Here’s a bit about me, my background and my blog:
I started blogging December 31st 2010….December 31st…Yes, I’m not kidding, the last day of the year! Why that day? I was feeling that I absolutely had to start something new in my life at the close of that year. Frankly, 2010 was a year of not-so-great surprises for me, disorder and frustration. I had moved to a new city where I had no family and didn’t know a soul, with my military hubby and two sons. This particular posting followed several years of my husband’s extended deployments overseas, several family separations and to be honest several months of loneliness.
This was a posting that was supposed to be more stable, more quality family time, more ‘regularity’ (if there even is such a thing with the military lifestyle!)…but it turned out unfortunately to be the opposite.
We thought we would be golfing together, hanging out with new friends, doing lots of antiquing and day trips (which we love!). But what actually happened is that two weeks after arriving at our new posting, my husband left for an overseas training exercise and was away each and every month for 10 months every year! He was traveling throughout the continental US, to Korea, to Africa, to Singapore, Afghanistan and Thailand ….he was traveling everywhere across the globe, except home.
Hubby’s desert combat boots… he’s been deployed several times to Afghanistan
And while he was ‘going everywhere’, I felt that I was ‘going nowhere’ so to speak, stuck in a stressful and challenging situation… alone with two children and not moving ‘forward’. Hubby was only home December and January in 2010 and 2011 and gone every February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October and November! It was challenging for him too: he was either jetlagged or away from his family. By December 2010 I knew I needed to do something that I could control in a situation that I had no control over.
I thought maybe, since I loved reading blogs, I could start my own blog, maybe I could learn something new and challenging, maybe I could meet some friends in the blogosphere that had the same interests and passions for home, family, DIY’ing and decorating as I do!
Make a Pallet Wood Potting Bench with a Sink and Faucet
And that is how SettingforFour.com was ‘born’. It was a chance to save my sanity in a very crazy situation that I was in…and it did! I have not only learned a lot of technical things like HTML, coding, blog design and photo editing, I have been fortunate enough to have made some fantastic bloggy friends along the way!
So how did I come up with my blog name “Setting for Four”??
The name came from those extended and frequent separations that we were experiencing as a family…..I would always set our kitchen table with 4 place settings during meals, even when my husband was away….it made us all feel like he was still at home ‘in spirit’, part of our family meals, part of our lives, even when he physically wasn’t.
It gave, I hope, our two boys a sense that even though Dad was away, they could be comforted by knowing his spot was still at the head of the table, his ‘spot’ in their lives, as their Dad, was still there.
So out of a situation of difficulty and challenge, Setting for Four turned into a journey of joy, fun and great personal reward.
I started blogging very slowly with baby steps, with no clue really how to write to an audience, or how to take great pictures…
My first post was ‘My New Office Chair Reveal” (um, see what I mean by starting with baby steps??) and I was soooooo excited when I received my first comment!
I couldn’t believe that my first post, which seemed to have gone into some mysterious electronic world, was actually read by someone!
But I cringe when I look back at my first posts and this is why….
You see, back in the day, I used to be a scientist, a Microbiologist working for Fortune 500 companies in Biotech Research and Development and Product Development…..so writing for me was ‘technical scientific writing’; writing Research proposals, writing lab reports, writing standard operating procedures….completely different from blog writing! Looking back at my old posts, my writing was so ‘stiff’, so structured; like my writing had to be for scientific purposes…
My posts were sooooo boring to read! Really! I had to loosen up and write for fun, write like I chat over coffee with a girlfriend. And slowly I learned how. How did I learn to do that? By reading lots of blogs and just by writing posts, making mistakes and writing some more!
Blogging brought me confidence in a time I felt uncertain about my life…. and it gave me a very satisfying and helpful degree of control in my life at a time when I felt I had no control.
It more importantly helped me in finding many wonderful new friends! Blogger friends I have never met face-to-face but I know better than some of my real life friends.
Blogging allowed me to find a super supportive community during a time when I had no support living in a new city with no friends or family nearby.
And by joining that supportive community it made me feel uplifted and that finally I found ‘my people’….people who ‘got’ me…who loved to decorate and renovate just as much as me!
12 Curb Appeal Design Elements & A FREE Front Porch Design Plan
Blogging also allows me to use my experience and training as an Interior Decorator!
As an Interior Decorator I love helping people improve their homes and fix decor problems with my online Decorating Services!
I love to help others add beauty and comfort to their homes, solve their design dilemmas and find that perfect wall color, piece of furniture, perfect lighting or design rooms for them that don’t work the way they want them to.
See my online interior decorating services here!
The Best Transitional Glam Living Room Pieces
Creating this website and documenting my love for Home Decor, DIYs and sharing my home tips and tricks was the solution to my search for a new career and pride of accomplishment.
So if you are facing adversity try something new involving your personal passions.
I hope you found some encouragement with my personal story. Exploring what brings you joy and stepping outside of your comfort zone can lead to an exciting new journey!
If you’re interested, here are some of my most popular, reader favorite blog posts:
My Entryway and Family Room Decor
Gardening tips:
No Fail Plants- Landscape Gardens & Flower Containers
…. yummy recipes like this Easy Chocolate Lasagna – No Bake Dessert
…..and Turn Kid’s Art Into Tea Towels – great gift idea
Stay tuned I’m super excited to share all of my renovating, home improvement projects big and small, decorating projects, crafts and easy family friendly recipes with you!
Don’t forget to Subscribe to Setting for Four to get all of my FREE design and decor tips, fun DIY projects and delicious recipes!
** Subscribers also get my FREE Decorating Guide! **
If you have a question please email me at [email protected] – I’d love to hear from you!
Heather
jean massey says
I , too, am a military wife, retired Air Force, 30 yrs. Your posts are always so nice. The pictures make me feel I am in the room and cozy. I personally do not care for white Christmas trees, but you have managed to make your’s beautiful!! We get the house ready, then a week or so before the BIG day, go out and cut a cedar from a friends woods. The clean smell is so wonderful. I live in Aberdeen Ms 1/2 way between Memphis and Birmingham on the Tennessee Tombigbee River.
heather says
It’s so nice to meet another military wife Jean! I’m so glad you enjoy reading my posts and find my rooms cozy. Your fresh cedar Christmas tree sounds magical! Thanks so much for visiting! xo Heather
Mom in High Heels says
I’ve just recently found your blog, and I love it. Your style is so lovely and welcoming. Though if your house always looks so lovely, I might just throw myself on the floor an weep! 😉
I’ve been an army spouse for (almost) 21 years now. We were married in March 1995, and the say after our first anniversary in 1996, he left for basic training, so I predate the army by 1 year and 1 day. We’ve been through so many deployments and TDY’s it’s not funny. He’s been gone more since he became an officer than he ever did when he was enlisted. It’s a bit exhausting, as you know. We have 2 boys currently 14 and 5 (talk about a surprise!), who were both born in Germany.
I had a blog for year, but Google+ ate 5 years of photos, and I lost my passion for it. I work as a freelance writer, and write my own stuff, so maybe I wouldn’t have time for it anyway. I look forward to exploring your blog, and getting updates.
heather says
Thank you for leaving such a beautiful comment Mom in High Heels and it’s so nice to ‘meet’ a fellow Army wife! It’s certainly challenging raising a family and being separated so much! I’m so glad you enjoy my blog! All the best success with your freelance writing career and again thank you for visiting my site! xo Heather
Cecile says
Heather, thank you so much for sharing your story about overcoming obstacles and adversities. The military can be very challenging for families, but you found a way to overcome that and make a new life for yourself and your family.
My father was in the Air Force for 22 years, so I can relate to that challenge.
I’m enjoying going back through your earlier posts in addition to your new ones.
laura says
HI Heather, I found you via Marty’s features (I think it was Marty’s) about your soy candle! Which I pinned, saved and will hopefully make my own with a shout out to you. Just read your about page and way to be sista! Way to BE! I am a big upcycle freak so the diy candles spoke to me for all my empty candle jars! xo laura in CO
heather says
Hi Laura! I’m so glad you like my candle DIY – I’m making more this week for gifts! Thank you for pinning it too 🙂 I’m so glad you enjoyed reading my story and thank you for your encouragement! It was quite the journey full of lots of tears but I’m so happy with where it took me here as a blogger getting to share my decor and DIY ideas!!! Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts here!!!!!xo Heather
Linda Magin says
I loved reading your story. I am also an ex-military wife. Being Australian I met and married my submariner husband in Hawaii. I went from a very successful career in Early Childhood where I was at the stage of writing curriculum and training teachers to moving to the US to be a military wife. I had NO IDEA what i was in for. Thankfully he was on land duty at Pearl Harbor. The church we went to was at Pearl Harbor and was full of military families- they became my life line and extended family. 26 years later many of them are still my best friends. Being on a submarine means you are deployed at sea for most of the year. We came to a point where we couldnt do it anymore. All my husband knew was Navy life (his dad was Navy also). Exiting, we had no job AND we moved back to Australia. He has been employed ever since- but we were never completely stable where we could put down roots. This is where your first career comes into our story. While working for a Robotics company a US distributor suggested my husband ‘have a go’ at selling equipment like pipettes to your industry. 11years later we have a successful company and are Australian distributors for a number of companies and just built the 1st BioBank in the country. I tell you this story because i find so many military families have fascinating stories. Our best man is still in the military and they have just moved again a few months ago. Other families have left the military and gone onto other things. It is vital that as military wives/mums that we learn to empower ourselves while being flexible enough to cope with the moves and life without our husband home. Thats why we have a common unity when we here another’s story. I stumbled across your site. I am going to spend some time reading it Thank you for sharing XXX
heather says
Oh I’m so glad you liked reading about my background! It’s so nice to meet another military wife! Thank you so much for sharing your background Linda – so fascinating! My hubby has worked with many Australian military members! 🙂 You must have had a lot of time apart with your hubby being a submariner, so you are one strong lady! How fabulous you have a successful company in Science – Congrats!! You are absolutely right – military families have to be very very flexible and strong! My hubby and I joked that our appliances or vehicle always waited to break when he deployed! Murphy’s Law lol!! Thank you so much for your lovely comment and I hope you enjoy my blog posts!! xo Heather
Jean says
Love your kitchen! Could you share where the lights above the kitchen island can be purchased. Thanks!
heather says
Thank you! Unfortunately they are discontinued.